NFL Playoff Preview: Conference Championships

Ok, I'm 6-2 in my picks for the NFL playoffs (got both AFC games wrong and both NFC games right last week). So, it's redemtion time. Any way, here's my picks for the Championship games.

NFC Chamoionship Game (3:00 EST PM) New Orleans Saints (11-6) @ Chicago Bears (14-3):

This game is very intruiging, because you have that loaded Saints offense vs. that grizzly Bear defense (NPI). The Bears defense is scary good with Brian Urlacher leading the pack of malicious Bears to whoop, crush, slam, discombobulate, and mutilate any offense that crosses its path. The Saints offense is lead by Deuce McCallister at running back, who runs over defenses like a steam roller runs over a barbie doll house. He pounds you and pounds you until you can't be pounded no more. Plus, QB Drew Brees knows how to throw the deep ball with help from Wide Recievers in Marques Colston, Joe Horn (who may not play), Terrance Copper, and Devery Henderson. Not to mention another talent in RB Reggie Bush, who catches, runs around defenders, and returns kicks. Oh, speaking of kick returns, the Bears return specialists Devin Hester knows a little about that, since the guy has returned an NFL record 6 returns to the endzone for touchdowns. That kid can fly "like an eagle". He's super fast, super agile, and has super blockers. He may be the Bears best offensive weapon, but they got more than a speedy little return guy. QB Rex Grossman who's been playing like a faucet (either he's on or he's off), has been the most inconsistent QB in the NFL. NFL leading 7 games with 100+ passer rating and an NFL wourst 2 games under 1.5 passer rating. Wow! That's inconsistent. He's got good running backs in Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson. Not to mention great wide receivers in Muhsin Muhammad, TE Desmond Clark, and wide out Bernard Berrian. The Bears do have the offense when Grossman isn't playing "Gross". As far as the defense is concerned, over the last four meaningful games, the Bears have given up an average of 285 yards on the pass. That's why I expect to see the Saints to air it out and pass the ball a lot. Plus, they will run the ball a lot to the weak side since the Bears don't defend the weak side as well as the strong side (strong side is side with more receivers). The Saints have a better offense than the Bears, a reliable defense that can shut down the run or the pass of Chicago (despite all that Chicago can do when Grossman isn't playing like some deceased corpse), and the Saints are a good road team. They are 6-2 on the road this season. So they aren't afraid of travelling into an enemies territory. That is why I pick the Saints to win in a 27-21 game.



AFC Championship Game (6:30 EST) New England Patriots (14-4) @ Indianapolis Colts (14-4): Ok, It's the mighty Bill Belichick vs. Tony "The Tiger" Dungy. Belichick's Patriots over the years have had the Colt's number in the post-season, but the Colts have beat the Pats the last couple of times. The Pats are 5-0 all time in AFC title games and the Colts are 9-0 at home this season. Tom Brady is 12-1 in playoff games (with Belichick), and Peyton Manning in 5-6 in playoff games. Brady has 3 Super Bowl rings and Manning is praying to heaven to get a shot at winning one. The Colts have star Receivers in Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne, while the Patriots have a bunch of guys seemingly off the street playing Wide Reciever.
The Pats have the number two ranked defense in the NFL, while the Colts have been playing better defense in the playoffs. The Patriots have injuries to star safety Rodeney Harrison while the Colts are healthier than a kid who got back from the doctors with a sucker. The Patriots have been clutch in the post season over the years, while the Colts have the greatest clutch kicker in NFL and Patriot history on their team this time in Adam "the Italian" Vinatieri. Tom Brady is dating a hot Brazilain girl named Gisele Bundchen while Peyton Manning is not revealing who he has a little crush on (rumor has it Peyton likes any girl Eli dumps).
Peyton has a the better arm, while Brady has the better clutch factor. Patriots play great in cold weather, while the game is being played in a dome in Indy which gives the Colts an edge. The Patriots have the magic touch while the Colts have the tragic clutz (I'm thinking of you Mike Vander "Jack Ass".) The Pats are from Boston (cracker town, great marathon). The Colts come from Indy (also white, but to lazy to run, so they drive cars around fast tracks.) The Colts have a horseshoe on their helmet (originally intended to bring good luck, but lately it looks like the horseshoe should leave). The Patriots have a chisled faced Patriot who looks like he fought in the Revolutionary war. The Pats like to beat you to a pulp, while the Colts like to blow you out with lots of points. The Colts colors are blue and white, while the Patriots sport the blue and red. Peyton Manning is taller than Tom Brady, while Tom Brady runs faster. Tom Brady looks like a politician, while Peyton coming from Archie may have a career in Beer commercials when his career is over. Peyton Manning loves the no huddle, self orchestrated offense, while Tom Brady likes to huddle up and read the play call from Commando Belichick to his fellow comrades. Peyton Manning's name is made up, while Tom Brady's name is not only found in the dictionary, but the last name Brady comes from the most annoying sit-com in Telivision history. The Colts have the Offense, the Pats have the defense, and so with all that has been said, compared, and declared, I have concluded that the Patriots will beat the Colts in Indy, in a 24-21 heartstopping thriller, where Manning will play poorly, and Adam Vinatieri won't get a shot at a last second heroic play. Brady will lead some game winnning drive late in the fourth quarter, and all of Peyton Manning's hard work and dreams will get crushed, not to mention his repuation as a clutch QB will also get smashed like a car on New Years Eve. Sorry Peyton, better luck next year.

NFL Playoff Preview: Divisional Playoffs

Ok America, the Wild Card round is over, and all my predictions came true. I'm 4-0 so far! Hopefully I'll be just as accurate for this weekend's divisional playoffs. Ready for the predictions? Here we go!

Game 1 (4:30 EST PM) Indianapolis Colts (13-4) @ Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens are the #2 seed in the AFC, and the Colts are the #3 seed in the AFC. Though they are very close in seedings and record, both teams are very opposite in style of play. The Ravens play hard-nosed defense lead by Linebacker Ray Lewis (103 Tackles), Cornerbacks Chris McAllister (6 INT; 2 TD) and Samari Rolle (52 Tackles; 3 INT), Free Safety Ed Reed (5 INT; 1 TD), and Defensive End Trevor Pryce (5th in the NFL with 13 Sacks). As you can see, this Ravens defense is scary, loaded, deep, and versitile from all sides of the ball. They have the potential to rip you apart limb for limb, and beat you single handedly on defense alone. Their defense ranks #1 in points allowed per game, giving up a mere 12.6 points per game. The offense ranks tied for 12th in scoring, scoring a respectable 22.1 points per contest. The offense is lead by QB Steve McNair, who is marinated in playoff experience, having played in a Super Bowl with the Tennesse Titans back in the 1999-2000 season. Even though McNair's Titans lost to Kurt Warner's Rams in a 23-16 showdown, he knows what it takes to win a Super Bowl, what pieces you need, and the intensity to get there. On the defensive side of the ball, Ray Lewis has a Super Bowl Ring with the Ravens, back when they crushed the Giants in a 34-7 blowout in Super Bowl XXXV in 2001. The Head Coach Brian Billick was the coach at the time, and he knows what it takes to win.

The Colts on the other side of the coin, win by Offense. The Defense ranks dead last in rushing defense (though they looked pretty good against the Chiefs), setting up a lot of pressure on the offense. QB Peyton Manning is one of the elite QB's in the NFL, and you know that a good QB has a lot of help. A lot of help he has, from a great offensive line, and especially two killer Wide Recievers in Reggie Wayne and the HOFITB (Hal Of Fame Inductee To Be) Marvin Harrison. I like that trio very much, as well as their little weapon that kicks the football named Adam Vinatieri. Yes, Vinatieri is now a Colt, and this little Italian might just be the best player and most valuable player on this entire Colt team. I find his ability to sink game winning kicks extraordinary. Now with all that being said, the offense battles a shaky defensive team on the other side of the ball, who couldn't stop shit until last saturday when the Kansas City Chiefs came to town. That defense is the reason I am betting against this Colts team, as well as Peyton Manning's snake bitten playoff history. My Official prediction for this game is that the Baltimore Ravens will blow the doors off the Colts in a humiliating 34-13 beat down. Those 5 Ravens defenders I listed above as well as the other 6 guys who play beside them will demolish Peyton Manning and his precious offense. Manning will get sacked 6 times, hurried 20 times, hit 7 times, forcing 1 fumble and 4 INT's from the Pro-Bowl QB. The Offense for Baltimore will do steller, as McNair will have a solid day, and running back Jamal Lewis will have an easy day at home against the Colts defense. This game is a no brainer for me, Ravens win it easy.

Game 2 (8:00 PM EST) Philadelphia Eagles (11-6) @ New Orleans Saints (10-6): The Eagles look to continue their 6th game winning streak and win again in hostile New Orlean's enviorment. QB Jeff Garcia has done a magnifcent job with his team, as well as Running Back Brian Westbrook, who tore the Giants apart last Sunday. This team is looking red-hot right now, brimming with confidence, self-esteem, and drive. Coach Andy Reid looks driven as well, and happy with his team right now. Everybody is stepping up, doing the little things. They looked good last Sunday, but only won in a nail-biter as kicker David Akers made the game winning kick for the Eagles. The defense lead by Safety Brian Dawkins is also looking really good.

The New Orleans Saints are also a team with a great offense. QB Drew Brees has looked fabulous all year, and he is a huge reason for this Saint team's resurgence. He has help from Wide Recievers Joe Horn and Marques Colston who both are playing well as well as the Runningback duo in Reggie Bush and Deuce McCallister. But the big thing that the Saints have over the Eagles is home field advantage, and not just any homefield advantage, but homefield advantage in New Orleans. The Superdome is gonna be going crazy on Saturday (much like that Monday Night Game), and that crowd on top of that great New Orlean's offense will suffocate the Eagles, giving the Saints a 28-17 victory.

Game 3: (1:00 PM EST) Seattle Seahawks (10-7) @ Chicago Bears (13-3): This game is very intruiging because you have the Seahawks coming in all banged up with out much of a secondary or defense as a whole. The Bears however have a scary good defense only giving up 15.9 points per game. The Bears offensively however, are very concerned about QB Rex Grossman, who has been off and on all season. Grossman has posted an NFL leading 7 games with a 100+ passer rating, and also an NFL record 2 games with a sub 1.5 passer rating (1.4 and 0.0). So, as you can see, the QB position is shaky and if Rex doesn't come to play, there is a chance backup QB Brain Griese comes in to attempt to save the team from sinking. The Running attack for Chicago however, is pretty good, with Running Backs Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson combining for over 1800 all purpose yards, while each of them has scored 6 Touchdowns over the regular season combining for 12 TD's.

The Seahawks on the otherside of the coin have a more reliable QB in Matt "The Alley Cat' Hasslebeck who lead the team to the Super Bowl last year in a heartbreaking loss to destiny's favorite Pittsburgh Steelers. Matt has been hurt for part of the year, but over the last few games including last weeks huge win against the Cowboys in a Wild Card game, he's looked pretty good thanks to good blocking and good receivers in Deion "The Tree" Branch and Darrell Jackson. Plus, they have a good running back in "Slippery" Shaun Alexander who is looking better every game. Alexander has also had an injury of his own, breaking his foot very early in the season. But he is the NFL MVP from last year, and he has shown flashes of that MVP level over the season, but just hasn't been able to keep playing at that high level all year. Overall, Alexander is a good running back with a lot of talent.

The Bears can counter that great offensive talent by crushing the Seahawks on defense. Bear's Linebacker Brian Urlacher has made 141 tackles all year, along with 3 INT's. He anchors this scary Bears defense, and he is a key reason they are so good defensively. On top of the defense, the Bears have great special teams with a good kicker in Robbie Gould who has made 32 of 36 field goals. Only problem with Gould, is his longest kick of the year is under 50 yards (his longest kick is 49 for the year and career). But overall, Gould has been fantastic all year. Plus, the Bears have a return specialist named Devin Hester who has scored an NFL record 6 Touchdowns on Punt Returns, Kick Returns, and Field Goal Returns.

Overall, the Bears have a better team than the Seahawks, and unless Rex Grossman has a 1.4 passer rating kind of game (or something like that ), the Bears will win this game. Lovie Smith will have his team and his QB ready to play. Plus the Bears are at home, which helps a lot. So, I pick the Bears to win in a 24-14 ball game.

Game 4 (4:30 EST) New England Patriots (13-4) @ San Diego Chargers (14-2): This game is a a very intruiging game with 3 time Super Bowl Champion Bill Belichick coaching his Patriot team up against 5-12 playoff coach Mart Schottenheimer who's looking for redemtion. Schottenheimer's Chargers have a pheonominal running back named LaDainian Tomlinson who has lead the NFL in every rushing catagory this year and set an NFL record with 31 Touchdowns. He is also helped by a great offensive line and QB by the name of Phillip Rivers who is making his first career playoff appearance. He's looked shaky at times, but overall been very good this whole season. He's young, inexperinced, but confident, as he appears to be ready to prove his ability to win in the playoffs. TE Antonio Gates also provides a boost for this offense, proving to being one of the best Tight End's in the NFL over the past few seasons. The Defense for San Diego is lead by Linebacker Shawne Merriman who in only 12 games this season has racked up a staggering 17 sacks on the season. The guy is the heart and soul of this San Diego defense.

The Patriots have a few tricks up their sleeves as well, with 3 time Super Bowl winning coach Bill Belichick, and 3 time Super Bowl winning QB Tom Brady. Brady is an all time great, and he rarely loses in the post season. Belichick has been the mastermind of all 3 Patriot championship teams, and you know he's gonna bring his "A" game against this San Diego offense to try and stop the seemingly unstoppable LaDainian Tomlinson. He has a good defense to show it, as his defense is second in the NFL is points allowed, only giving up 14.8 points per game in the regular season. With Tedy Bruschi and Mike Vrabel at Linebacker, along with Defensive End Richard Seymour, Cornerback Asante Samuel, and Free Safety Artrell Hawkins, this defense is loaded. I think that this defense could really pose problems for the San Diego Chargers. The Running game with Running Backs Laurence Maroney and Corey Dillon are both running well, also providing Brady with help.

All in all, I think that the Chargers will beat the Patriots in a nail biter. This of all the games has been the toughest for me to predict because of all that Brady and Belichick have accomplished, but right now, I feel like it's Marty's time, LT's time, and San Diego's time. The Chargers will beat the Patriots in a 21-17 showdown.

NFL Playoff Preview: Wild Card Weekend

Alright, enough of this "who gets into the playoffs" talk. Guess what America? The NFL Playoffs are here! Wildcard weekend starts tomorrow, and so I will break down all four games, give you my predictions, etc. You ready? Here we go!

Game 1 (Saturday 4:30 PM EST) Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts: This game is a very intruiging game, because the Colts over the last few weeks have looked very vulnerable and easy to take advantage of because of the weak running defense, and their lack of ability to stop the run. The Chiefs (to the Colts dismay), thrive on the rush, and their running attack lead by all-star Running Back Larry Johnson is what has got them to the playoffs. The Colts on the other hand, are at home in this game, where they are 8-0 on the year. It's easy to say that playing in Indy will be very tough for this Kansas City team. Colts QB Peyton Manning looks very confidnet and relaxed with Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne as his two primary recievers. That trio alongside Running Backs Dominic Rhodes and Joseph Addai look to form a pretty scary group. But they sadly have no control over the way their defense has been playing which over the season has looked very weak, especially against the run. The Chiefs by many are expected to exploit that, by giving Larry Johnson 40+ carries in the game, thus exposing the Colts crappy run defense and in the process, leading them to victory. So, I've made both cases for why each team can or should win the game. For the Colts it's simple. They are at home, where they are undefeated, and the offense is simply to good for the Kansas City Defense to handle. The Chiefs on the otherside of the coin, have one of the best Running Backs in the NFL in Larry Johnson, just the man to dismantle that fluffy Indy rush defense, to lead them to victory. Plus, the Colts lost last year at home to the Steelers, so why can't it happen again? Both reasons for each team cancel each other out, in a sense except for the Indy 8-0 at home part. That is why I'm taking the Colts, yes, I'm going to go with the safe pick and pick the Colts to win in a 31-28 showdown, this time making the kick to ruin the away team's post-season. That 8-0 record will improve to 9-0, and the Colts will survive another day. That all being said, I do smell a possible upset here, since Larry Johnson can potentially run all over Indy's rush defense.


Game 2 (Saturday 8:00 PM EST) Dalllas Cowboys @ Seattle Seahawks: This game is between two teams who both have limped into the playoffs. Both team are 9-7, and both have causes for concern. Tony Romo, the QB for the Cowboys hasn't played in a playoff game in his short career, and ever since his 5-1 start, teams across the league seem to have figured him out. All you need to do, is pressure the little goofball, and he'll fumble the ball like he's only got three fingers on each hand. Plus, he's thrown some dumb passes over the year, which makes coach Bill Parcells very angry, and Terrell Ownes all the more likely to complain about his lack of catches, Touchdowns, and autograhphs. All of that I expect to happen tomorrow. As for the Seahawks, they have a great QB in Matt "The Alley Cat" Hasslebeck and an agressive RB in "Slippery" Shaun Alexander. Not to mention WR Deion Branch who all year has shown why he can kick some tail. So, the long and short of it, is that the Seahawks have a more reliable Offense than the Cowboys do, who seeminlgy have one head-case WR and a three fingered QB who handles a football like it's a bar of soap. But, things aren't all one sided here. The Cowboys have Julius Jones at RB (who kicks ass), and Terry Glenn at WR who has simply been amazing all year. Plus Parcells has won a Super Bowl (as has Seattle's head coach Mike Holmgren), so they do have a good coach to strategize. But ultimately, that furious Seattle rain, and the whole 12th man advantage will propel the Seahawks to a 55- 2 whomping of the Cowboys. (Romo will have 4 INTs, 3 Fumbles, and Terrell Owens will have 3 face-to-face arguments with Romo throughout the game). Seattle will waltz through this game and crush the Cowboys like ice.


Game 3 ( Sunday 1:00 PM EST) New York Jets at New England Patriots: The Battle is on! Both teams split the regular season, each winning a game on the road. Eric Mangini who served 6 years as an assistant to Bill Belichick in New England will lead his Jets team into the freezing New England field in Foxboro against his former "boss". You know there is some tension there, and the media is just licking this story up like a horse licks a sugar cube. Both coaches are doing great things for their team. Mangini has Laveranues Coles at WR and Chad "Crutches" Pennington at QB, both who if they stay healthy can do damage. Belichick has Tom Brady at QB, Corey Dillion at RB, and Tedi Bruschi at Linebacker. The Pats look scary. The Jets are 6-2 on the road and the Pats are 5-3 at home, and since the Jets did win their game against the Pats in New England, you could argue home field advantage doesn't mean squat, and you can argue that in the regular season, but it's the post-season baby, and homefield does matter. That is why the Patriots will narowly beat the Jets in a 24-21 game. Tom Brady will continue his perfect playoff record at home, and Bill Belichick will wag his finger at Eric Mangini and chant the battle cries of the Macac Monkey while simultaniously beating his chest sending a "Not In My House" sort of message.

Game 4 (Sunday 4:30 EST) New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles: The Eagles are hot, having won 5 games in a row, while the Giants are coming off of a big win against the Redskins, lead by a fabulous Running Back named Tiki Barber. The Giants are 8-8, at the Eagles are 10-6, and the numbers would suggest an easy Philly win. But the Giants know all about the Eagles as do the Eagles know the Giants. They split in the regular season (each team winning on the road), and so you know that this is a very intruiging game. Eagle QB Jeff Garcia has filled in very nicely for wounded QB Donovan McNabb and has lead this spirited Eagle resurgence. The Giants QB Eli "The Fly" Manning is under scrutiny because of his Manning name and lack of consitency. But he too has been instrumental in the Giants run to the playoffs. Coach Tom Coughlin of the Giants is under more heat than Philly's coach Andy Reid who despite coaching in the NFL's roughest city does not face the possiblity of getting fired like Tom Coughlin does if he loses. Both teams have different stories to tell. The Eagles have a sort of cinderella story to them, coming back from a 5-6 start and an injury to their Czar Donovan McNabb. The Giants have been underachieving all year, and many find this 8-8 record to be appalling and ludicrous for this team considering all the talent surounding them with Tiki Barber, Michael Strahan, Plaxico "What Kind of a name is that" Burress, Jeremy Shockey, and Eli "The Fly" Manning. Who do the Eagles have right now? Let's see, a deceased corpse of a QB in Jeff Garcia who rose from the ashes like a zombie to save his team, a beatly running back in Brian Westbrook, and a wicked good DB in Brian Dawkins. But on paper, the Giants have a better team. But, they don't have the momentum that the Eagles have, nor the home field that the Eagles have. That is why I predict the Eagles to barely beat the Giants in a 20-19 heart stopping game, where Eli will fumble the ball in the endzone with a one point lead, and hand the Eagles a safety and a win. How will Philly get to 18 points you ask? Well, that I don't know, but the Eagles will win, and Couglin will get fired.

NFL Power Rankings: End Of Regular Season

1. San Diego Chargers (14-2): LT is the NFL MVP, deserving it with 31 TD's and leading his team to the NFL's best record. Listen, with LT running like this, Rivers throwing confidently, the Defense wreaking havoc, and a 10 game winning streak, you have to put them as the Super Bowl Favorites.

2. Baltimore Ravens (13-3): Coming in with a nice litle 4 game wining streak of their own, you know the Ravens mean business. But here's the key thing they have: experience. Yes, Brian Billick has won a Super Bowl alongside bloodthirsty linebacker Ray Lewis who's the rock of this scary/malicious Baltimore defense. On top of all that, Steve McNair is the QB, and we all know he'd like to erase those 1 yard away from Super Bowl championship thoughts from his head. Listen, McNair's experience in Tennessee is only going to make him hungrier and better in the post-season. Note: #1 in points allowed per game only giving up a mere 12.6 points per game.

3. New England Patriots (12-4): Listen up, Tom Brady is still the scariest QB in this year's post-season for 3 reasons, (a) he's won 3 Super Bowls, (b) Bill Belichick is his coach, (c) he always beats Manning. There, you have heard it, Tom Brady is the scariest QB in the playoffs. I really think that despite all the talks about how this team is not the same Patriot team that won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, this team is still comprised of Tom Brady, Bill Belichick,Tedy Bruschi, Laurence Maroney, and Corey Dillon. (Note: Maroney is the rookie RB from Minnesota). Note: Remember they are #2 in points allowed per game only givin up only 14.8 points per game

4.Chicago Bears (13-3): I love what Lovie Smith is doing, and the defense is just plain ridiculous. The offense is a concern with Rex Grossman's 2 sub 1.5 passer rating games. That being said, Rex Grossman also leads the NFL in most 100+ passer rating games with a stunning 7 games. The guy's the most eratic QB/player in the NFL, and that eraticness is not a good sign if his team wants to win the Super Bowl.

5. New Orleans Saints (10-6): They got a great shot at the Super Bowl, with a first round bye, the NFC's best QB in Drew Brees, and a home crowd that will explode for their first playoff game. You gotta like their chances, especially with an eratic Grossman down in Chicago.

6. Indianapolis Colts (12-4): Peyton Manning and the Colts are 8-0 at home, and I don't expect that to change against their wild card game agaisnt the Chiefs . That being said, the run defense is a concern.

7.Philadelphia Eagles (10-6): Jeff Garcia is throwing great, they got Brian Westbrook in the back field, and Brian Dawkins in the secondary. Plus, they got a killer coach in Andy Reid. He'll have his team ready to go against the Giants this weekend no doubt. (Note: They have a 5 game winning streak.)

8. New York Jets (10-6): With a nice 3 game winning streak, and a confident coach in Eric Mangini, these Jets could do some damage to the Pats this weekend, only problem is, they have to play on the road. Plus, I'm not sure whether Pennington will be able to play great against that #2 ranked Patriot defense.

9. Kansas City Chiefs (9-7): With a two game winning streak, and a Running Back named Larry Johnson who can rip apart any rush defense, the Chiefs are the popular upset pick this week to beat the Colts with their agressive running game. That being said, the Colts are 8-0 at home, and it will be really hard for the Chiefs to be the first team to win in Indy all year.

10. Seattle Seahawks (9-7): Depsite the moderate record, the Seahawks are the defending NFC Champs, and in this weak conference, the Seahawks could make a run, especially since Matt "The Alley Cat" Hasslebeck and "Slippery" Shaun Alexander are both healthy, and ready to roll. They are going to beat the Cowboys this weekend without a doubt.

11. New York Giants (8-8): They have Tiki Barber, and he's playing in his last season. I think Tiki wants to go out strong, as does Eli want to prove he's a good QB. Plus, I'd imagine that Tom Coughlin wants to keep his job at head coach. The Giants will play well in a close game.

12. Dallas Cowboys (9-7): They've lost two in a row, and everybody seems to have figured out the goofy QB Tony Romo. All you do, is pressure the little bugger, and he'll fumble the football, get coach Parcells angry, and Terrel Owens to "snitch". It's easy, you press Romo, and like a domino effect, a whole chain of things go wrong for the Cowboys. They are the weakest team entering the post-season.

13. Pittsburgh Steelers (8-8): Without Bill Cowher, things will look very different on the Steeler sideline, but ultimately, this franchise will be back, and I expect a playoff appearance from this team next year, with a healthier/less troubled Ben Roethelisburger, and a more resurgent team all togehter. Long term, this team is fine.

14. Denver Broncos (9-7): They are kicking themselves in the shins for losing to the 49ers, but when you put a rookie in at QB, you need to understand the consequences. Listen, like the Steelers, this team will be good down the road, with Mike Shanahan at coach and a better, more experienced Jay Cutler at QB. Remember, they almost made the playoffs, and if the can pull that off with a rookie Jay Cutler, imagine what they'll do with a more experienced Jay Cutler.

15. Cincinnati Bengals (8-8): What happened? Three straight losses to end the season, a chicken-shit kick to blow a playoff berth, and an NFL leading 8 arrests; that's what happend. Listen, the core group of this team with Carson Palmer, Rudi Johnson, and Chad Johnson is fine. But guys like Chris Henry, and Deltha O'Neal need to be smarter, and not "get caught" breaking the law. Those distractions do indeed affect a team, and if you keep on reaching into the cookie jar with out permission, things get out of control. Plus, Marvin Lewis was kind of responsible for all this, but he has turned around this team, and without him, the Bengals would still suck. That all being said, it isn't his fault that his team had 8 arrests, because these players are old enough to take responsibility for themselves, but Lewis needs to be more strict on his team and lay down the law harder on his players.

16. Jacksonville Jaguars (8-8): Another clan of thugs with a three game winning streak, the Jags didn't deliver, and now they are forced to watch the playoffs and weep. Unlike the Bengals, they don't have an NFL leading 8 arrests to show for it.


17. Tennessee Titans (8-8): Vince Young played great at QB, especially for a rookie, and he is most deserving of the offensive Rookie of the Year award, but unlike his colleague Reggie Bush, another rookie, he'll have to sit and watch the playoffs, while Reggie Bush will make a push at a Super Bowl championship. Oooh, that kinda stings for Vince, Matt, and Mario, don't you think?

18. Carolina Panthers (8-8): They had a bad year, considering the Super Bowl expectations. Better luck next year. The only thing that sucked, was that Jake Delhomme got hurt.

19. Green Bay Packers (8-8): This could be the last time I have a reason to talk about Brett Favre, so here I go. Please return Brett, your team needs you, Aaron Rogers is a wuss, and you have a shot at the playoffs next year, if your team goes out and gets you a decent offense.

20. St. Louis Rams (8-8): Mark Bulger needs a better defense on the other side of the ball to give his team a chance to win. Plus, they really did have a chicken-shit schedule.

21. Atlanta Falcons (7-9): What will they do with Michael Vick next year?

22. San Francisco 49ers (7-9): Playoffs next year could easily happen, since the division sucks. and Frank Gore, Alex Smith, and Vernon Davis looked so strong, while being oh so very young.

23. Buffalo Bills (7-9): Being in the AFC, it'll take a while before this team makes any sort of playoff push, even with J.P. Losman at QB.

24. Minnesota Vikings (6-10): At least they can cruise on lake Minnetonka.

25. Miami Dolphins (6-10): Nick Saban lied, and who gives a shit?

26. Houston Texans (6-10): Hey, the defensive player of the year came out of Houston! But, it wasn't "Super Mario" Williams, it was linebacker DeMeco Ryans. Props to DeMeco and his 155 total Tackles (125 solo, and 30 Assists). "Super Mario" racked up a meager 47 tackles.

27. Arizona Cardinals (5-11): They suck, but with Matt Leinart, Larry Fitzgerald, and Anquan Boldin their is hope.

28. Washington Redskins (5-11): Better luck next year, if Clinton Portis is healthier.

29. Tampa Buccaneers (4-12): They suck, and Gruden is under lots of pressure if he even makes it back next year.

30. Cleveland Browns (4-12): Kellen Winslow Jr. didn't do what a "#1" TE does, because he's a wuss. Braylon Edwards however played pretty well.

31. Detroit Lions (3-13): Beating the Cowboys was pretty sweet, but looking at their record, you realize that they still suck.

32. Oakland Raiders (2-14): That slimy-grimy sleaze bag Al Davis didn't give Art Shell much to work with, and then he fires the guy! Davis is an idiot, and oh by the way, congrats on being dubbed the winner of the NFL's #1 pick in the 2007 draft!